In each of us there is another
whom we do not know.
~Carl G. Jung
An excerpt from Release Your Obsession with YOUR PHONE: Heal from the Inside released this November…
Are you searching high and low for that something—that something to fill the lull? Are you lonely, disconnected from others? If you scroll and scroll for hours on end through the different social media sites, ask yourself what’s really going on. Inspect within and probe and gently ask yourself, “What do you need?”
Often we are too close to our self, missing the cues that something is going on. Are you lonely? Do you need some people contact? Are you angry with yourself or someone other than you? Are you playing the shame-game? Or, are you shoulding all over yourself? You know, I should do this…I should do that…
In each of us there is another whom we do not know (Carl Jung). Or perhaps in each of us there is another we don’t share with the world.
There’s the inner self and the outer self. The inner we hide quietly. This could be where you feel less than what you’re presenting to the outer world. This could be where you are so sad because you didn’t accomplish what you set out to and now you feel your dream has passed you by.
Or maybe there is another within you you don’t know. Do you really know you?
Are you an introvert or an extrovert or a combination of the two?
The other day, Kirsty, an acquaintance, was telling me about her husband Joey, who was practicing a song for his father’s eighty-fifth birthday. Joey’s dad was a musician/singer as far back as his youth. He was outgoing, social, and very talented. Joey was the complete opposite. He talked little and socialized almost never and now he’s going to sing at his dad’s birthday?
Kirsty didn’t even know Joey could sing, or that he would want to. Sure, she heard him goofing around singing to a familiar song, but not with his heart and soul. Joey is the ultimate introvert, the genius scientist sort who doesn’t say too much but has a world of thoughts going on within. And who knew he had this inner world wishing to share with the world—or at least sing on this momentous occasion?
On the day of the big event, Kirsty was nervous for Joey, thinking this would not go very well. She didn’t hear the song he planned to sing, nor did she even know what song it was. He wanted the entire procession to be a secret. As the time ticked on, Kristy felt sick about her husband.
Kristy didn’t want Joey to make a fool out of himself. And then it happened. He pulled out his guitar and sang from his soul a lyrical ballad describing his years growing up with an amazing, loving father. There wasn’t a dry eye in the room as he sang line after line from the heart.
So here was a true introvert, letting go and expressing his feeling through lyrics, telling his story with his dad from his view. For Joey, this was a social outlet that he kept hidden from his closest friends and family. Music was his way of reaching out and expressing.
We all need a social outlet and for each, it will be different. Joey doesn’t talk about his feelings, but he sure can sing them. Social outlets are different for everyone, but for sure they’ve morphed into other outlets with our smart phones lending access to many venues.
Many of our social outlets are not in a place like they once were. Clubbing or hanging out in large groups seems to be less and less. Perhaps you no longer work and you’re missing conversations with others. Or maybe you work remotely from your home with no human contact and you’re trying to find it on your phone.
Most of my friends are writers or therapists, both of which work from the quiet of their home with little people contact only a lit screen often turning to their phones for an escape from their jobs. I choose to work mostly from my office to avoid such isolation, as I am an introvert and need outside stimulation.
With the onset of the smart phone we have access to an entire world of information, without ever leaving the comfort of our home. The library, bookstores and hand delivered newspaper are slowly becoming obsolete. Why go to the library when you can find everything you need in the palm of your hand?
Why get a hand-delivered newspaper when you can pull up the news in a nano second without paying for a script, nor getting black ink on your fingers?
And with this dependence we are going to the library less and less. In fact, you can use your library card to read and hear books on your phone without making the trip on site. We can purchase books on our phone without traveling to the nearest bookstore. And heck, why pay for a newspaper subscription when we can get the news on our phone without spending? Although I love these new-wave changes, it saddens me to think that perhaps there won’t be libraries any more, or book stores—or the newspaper simply by perusing the news on your news feed.
Yes, we are adapting to the search engines in our phone that will take us anywhere at anytime to get the information we desire. And we are Zooming and FaceTiming and Telehealthing rather than meeting with people.
And as a result, many are becoming more fearful of socializing. If already an introvert, you’re now deeper into the quiet space and if you are social, it might force you to isolate given your work.
Perhaps you enjoyed going to the stores to shop for clothes and lunch with your friends, but now find everything you need on Amazon or other stores online without having to spend time or money on gas—and often your purchase ships for free. Uber eats will swiftly bring you your foods ordering from your device.
Many franchise restaurants and coffee shops have apps you can tap into on your phone, place the order and get the heads up on when to pick it up or, better yet, have it delivered. With this easy to peruse and buy, why bother to go out when it’s shipped to your home in a few days or delivered foods in under an hour? Your shopping spree for clothes, shoes, jewelry, food, restaurants, Uber-eats is endless, giving you everything you need, when you want, without the hassle.
So, are our phones leading us towards becoming or enhancing our introvert self or possibly lending a more extravert self?
Many are turning to the social media platforms for relationships with others because it’s not in person but they can connect without being all in.
Some introverts are becoming little extroverts on their phones because there’s a distance between the realness of it, making the adventure more doable.
People Need People
The point is, people need people. Connecting with others is crucial to mental health. If you find you’re isolating more than connecting, perhaps it’s time to get out and interact with people. Go to the library, or bookstore, or stroll through the mall to get your people fix.
Take a people connector test with yourself. When was the last time you were with a person in real time in the flesh? How did it make you feel? Are you connecting in person or online? Do you find you are more alone than with people? Or, perhaps you are alone and you are just fine—that’s okay, too. Share your thoughts, we’d love to hear from you, simply scroll all the way down to the comments section.
Thank you for spending time with me and my thoughts throughout these pages. I hope my words lit your excitement to become your best self for you. I look forward to sharing my newest book with you on how to Release Your obsession with YOUR PHONE. God bless you… and your journey through this life and all that awaits beyond…
Thank you for being a part of the reading blog forum of this blog. If you have something you’d like to say, I’d love to hear it. YOU are important and your words need to be heard. I’m here for you.
To learn more on recovery from food addiction, eating disorders, weight issues, dieting, and aging, please check out my Release Your Obsession Series.
Stay tuned…you never know where my mind will wander…
And now my newest release: