There is only one success,

to spend your life in your own way.

~Christopher Morley

An excerpt from: Release Your Obsession with YOUR Phone: Heal from the Inside Out. 

Too often we attempt to spend our life copying others, believing that’s the path to success.

And perhaps sometimes it might be, but often it’s not.

Why try to reinvent the wheel you might ask?

But maybe their wheel is not your wheel.

You don’t have to spend your life chasing someone else’s dream, rein in your authentic self—then you’ll find there is only one success, to spend your life in your own way.

But sometimes we need to find our path and we look at others to show us the way.

That’s fine for guidance, but not if it makes you feel shameful about who you are.

Don’t copy, but rather learn.

Often we have a fear of missing out (FMO) when a group of people are doing something that we think we should do, too. Just remember, the influencer might not be who you think they are. Imagine that.

Do You Suffer From FOMO?

The FOMO attack comes in many disguises. Like the influencer who says let me show you how to make money as they stand by their mansion with the $2.2 million dollar Ferrari LaFerrari. Or the exercise queen, looking fit and beautiful with the newest Keto Shake in her hand tilted towards her mouth, ready to take that sip of magic.

These are the people that lure seekers who want what they have and fear if they don’t jump on board, they’ll miss out.

And guess where these influencers pop up? Yep, right on YOUR phone.

Perhaps you keep checking your stock portfolio on your phone with every ding and ring and vibration. Or maybe you want to know what’s going on in a Facebook group.

Or it could be you’re checking the sales of a product you’re selling. It’s that gnawing within, something is going on and you are not there to see it.

In most of the cases, it’s a type of fear that you’re missing out. It’s a yearning to know. It’s a distraction from the here and now.

I get this. I’m guilty.

A Little Tok-Tok Perhaps?

Case in point, me and Tok-tok. Yep, TikTok. The very site I warn my young eating disordered teens to stay away from because it can only lead them to a dreary place, so I thought. TikTok is a very odd yet an addictive community. And now I’m one of them. Yep, @drlisaort_author.

TikTok? Dr. Lisa is on TikTok? No, not Dr. Lisa, that can’t be true, can it? Yes, you didn’t read that wrong.

I belong to a group with writers and authors of all sorts on TikTok, a place I never, ever thought I’d hang out. It became the big rage for authors, writers and readers. And the urgency to get in now while it’s fresh before it gets flooded was the message.

One day, a few months ago, a challenge presented itself to join TikTok with a group of authors and writers. I didn’t think I was up for the challenge. I took a peek and shook my head, thinking, No, this is not a place for me.

But my curiosity got the best of me, so I kept looking at the different seven to forty second video clips and got mesmerized.

I now belong to two different writing groups all promoting on TikTok.

This idea, presented in my groups, became the focus.

Most of us gasped at the idea. Why in the world would we want to go to TikTok when it’s a goofy site for the young people?

In fact, when I casually mentioned the idea to a few patients, young and old alike, the response was the same, “Oh no, Dr. Lisa, you don’t want to go there.”

Curiosity Gets A Win

But my curiosity and FOMO got the best of me, so I read on to learn TT (TikTok) is the big thing right now in the writing world. And it’s suggested to jump on now while it’s still growing.

One guy was too funny as he went back and forth with his sheer fear of posting his first video. I laughed, reading his posts of terror as I felt his fear.

And then he took the dive. We all meandered over to TikTok to see what he was doing after his series of posts on to post a video, or not.

When I saw he could do it, I thought, okay, I’ll dip my toe into the TikTok pool. Nope, I dove in head-first. I didn’t know what I was doing, and still don’t.

I put together a few pictures to the sounds of various melodies. All good. Slowly I accumulated a group of writers and some readers. After looking around studying other’s posts, I got brave and put in a five second video on how everyone has a story in them. I was working at the office and hit the post button and forgot about it.

While working, my phone was blowing up with all sorts of activity I ignored.

In fact, I flipped my phone over to avoid the distraction while working. When the vibrating phone continued I gave in.

I saw I got hundreds of responses from one little seven-second video. I was shocked. My FMO was paying off, so I thought.

But on closer look, I noticed a lot of the attention was from guys. Yes, guys, not writers or readers or people from the author world, just creepy guys known as bots.

And all of this was because I had the fear of missing out.

This fear of missing out can often lead to great successes, while other times it can lure you into a place you don’t want to go. Most of us, if not all of us, choose not to join something or do what everyone else does and then it becomes big and the reel in the head says, “Ah you should have bought that or joined that or done that, cuz look now it’s out of reach.

Vegas Anyone? 

I think the likes, and dings, and rings from our phones is like going to Vegas and playing the slot machine, or rolling the dice.

When you win once with bells going off and money adding up before your very eyes, you are hooked. In fact, when I was in my early twenties, I went to Vegas and won three hundred and fifty dollars on the slot machine.

Back in those days, a red light, like you’d see on top of a police car, went off with the sounds to go along with it and coins fell out of the machine.

I grabbed the handy bucket next to my machine to catch the coins, missing half as they tumbled this way and that way onto the floor.

This was during the days you pulled the lever with each spin, hearing and feeling the experience, which also can lead to addiction. Our phones, and the sites and apps contained within, are no different.

I constantly looked at my phone, thinking about my phone, and wondering what video to post next on TikTok. Yes, I was obsessed with my phone, the very topic of my book: Release Your Obsession with YOUR PHONE: Heal from the Inside Out. And what’s crazy is I’m knee deep in writing this very book on how to release your obsession with your phone as I obsess with mine!

And the question is when do you back away and when do you jump in?

At the time of this writing, I was only five days into TikTok and it consumed my thoughts. I dreamt about night after night and woke to ideas for more videos.

I needed to question why I was so mesmerized by this platform. Is it because many writers/authors are jumping on board and I am afraid I’ll miss out? Probably. But what else is going on? I had to take a pause and sit in silence to ask myself why so much attention.

Clearly I don’t have hours on end to spend on this with a full time, private practice, a writing career, and marketing my books. Oh, but isn’t this marketing my books? Isn’t this working?

Isn’t this getting the word out to all those people suffering from food addiction, obsessive thoughts, diet mentality, money, and aging fears? Perhaps I’m not obsessed, but I’m working.

Are you obsessed with TikTok? What FOMO (fear of missing out) do you have? What’s gripped you as of late? Share your thoughts, as surely you are not alone.

If you have something you’d like to say, I’d love to hear it. YOU are important and your words need to be heard. I’m here for you. You can leave a comment by scrolling down to the section that says leave a reply. I look forward to hearing from you!

Thank you for being a part of the reading blog forum and spending time with me and my thoughts throughout these pages. I hope my words lit your excitement to become your best self for you. I look forward to sharing my newest book with you on how to release your obsession with your Phone. God bless you… and your journey through this life and all that awaits beyond…

To learn more about recovery from food addiction, eating disorders, weight issues, dieting, aging,  money, and your phone, please check out my Release Your Obsession Series.

Stay tuned… you never know where my mind will wander…

Hugs to you, I care!
Dr. Lisa




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