In order to write about life
first you must live it.
So, You Want to be a Writer…
Often I hear, “I want to write a book.” Or. someone will say, people always tell me I need to write a book because of this experience or tragedy or trauma. I listen and nod with familiarity, as I felt that desire, too.
So many desperately want to tell their story, create an art piece, or build a business, but they’re afraid. Others look for permission to live out their dream. Fear and looking for approval are two ingredients that will stop a dream in its tracks.
Imagine using your experiences and then putting it on paper and letting your words shine, and giving other people the nudge to do the same. It’s possible, but of course, excuses can get it the way.
Wanting to do something and the reality of really doing it are two very different things. Writing a book takes passion about a subject of interest and expertise. Dreams take a belief it’s possible before starting. If you don’t believe or you’re looking for others to tell you it can happen, it may not become a reality.
The belief comes from within.
And fear is always bigger than the experience itself. I say, feel the fear and do it, anyway.
The Art of Writing
Writing takes patience and thick skin. Naysayers will pop up from nowhere and everywhere. People will love your work while others won’t. There will be obstacles along the way, as it’s part of the process. Anything worthwhile in life will have challenges you’ll need to power through.
So you want to be a writer and you don’t know where to begin. I get that. You don’t know where to start. You’re not alone. I didn’t know where to begin, either. I only knew in my soul that I had to write. It was like breath for me without it I’d not survive. It’s equal to the sun and the earth.
People often ask me questions like, “Why do you write?” “Why do you write about obsessions?” or “Why are all your blogs and books sprinkled with spiritual thoughts?” and “Where do you find the time to write?” And why the earth and nature?
So, why do I write? It would be so much simpler to just hang out, watch television, and play games on my phone. But then, would hanging around not tapping into the creative self be simpler? I think not.
I write because writers write. There would be a gaping hole in my life if I didn’t put words on the page. Since thirteen years old, I journaled my thoughts and still do till this day.
When I was a teen, I wrote about feelings, food obsessions, low self-esteem, struggles to fit in—all in my journal. I knew no other way to get my thoughts out. I was alone most of the time, with little guidance.
So, that’s why I write, I have to. And that’s why I need to be out in nature—I have to. Earthing, spiritual connection and writing all swirl into the same passion lighting my soul while igniting words to light yours.
But then, what about writing on obsessive behavior? Well, because I began obsessing over candies and food and body weight and not fitting in so long ago. My only peace was outside in the woods or by the lake. I needed a place to connect to my spiritual self, which always pointed outside.
What’s Your Thing?
Obsessions gripped me from the core of my being. I didn’t have other thoughts. I was constantly worried about gaining weight or losing weight, being liked or not being liked. Fear, worry and anxiety were my constant companions. It was riding my horse Pasha in the woods, where I felt most at peace with my body and with my thoughts. I didn’t know back then there was this thing called earthing. But I knew I felt better feeling the earth under my bare feet.
Obsessions about fitting in and looking like others looked, you know the comparison-itis was a constant companion. I felt awkward and riddled with shyness. And this same thing is going on in the social media world. So, I studied these areas to understand who I am and why I did what I did and do what I do so that I could light the torch for others that might feel the same as I did.
I often prayed quietly or talked to the God of my understanding to fill my gaps and not feel so alone. Long rides out in the wood filled my spaces. I found feeding my spiritual hunger through nature calmed my insecurities.
Study What You Need to Know
And then I went into the field of psychology and studied these very areas that tortured my soul. And learned the what’s and why’s and solutions to what I struggled with.
I turned my passion, or I should say obsession, into expressions of great interest that soon made their way to writing five—and now six books (Phone Obsession) on obsessive behavior.
Just like the phone, other obsessions and addictions capture every thought and every part of the person, blocking them from living an authentic, passionate life. Addictions are gripping, but we can overcome them.
And so, I wrote from the soul in areas I know. I turned my passion for answers into writing in areas of interest. It moved me from my obsessions to productivity; from my worries to my solutions; from my insecurities to confidence abundance.
Soon I learned I wasn’t alone. Many people have the same struggles. So, should we write what we know? Yes. Should we write about what we are passionate about? Yes.
For sure, writing is hard work, and becoming recognized as a writer is even harder. So if you are thinking about becoming a writer, write what you know. And write where your passions lie. And write from personal experiences. Combine all three and it makes for writing from the soul.
Don’t write something you know little about because that won’t light your soul and for sure will feel hard, menial or, worse, dull work. Write what speaks to your soul and what you know. Get outside and listen to your natural callings. Sit quietly and hear what you need to hear, see what you need to see, and feel what you need to feel. The direction and the goals will come to you.
When I rode Pasha through the forest, we connected, we became one. I rode deep in the woods with tall pine trees, wild berries and the smell of earth to console me. I knew then, as I’d known always, that I wrote my thoughts and shared them in hopes to free myself, and then others. It was out in nature this came to me, as it will come to you.
Specialize in your own area of interest. Learn everything you can about the subject. And if it’s an area you struggle with, make sure you master it so that you are giving directions and solutions.
Every single book I write, whether it’s on food addiction, head chatter, traveling and eating healthy or money obsessions and even aging gracefully, I mastered it first before passing my thoughts on to the reader.
Embrace Who You Were, and Are
The pimpled faced, insecure, lost kid was my springboard to becoming who I am today. Without our experiences and spiritual growth, we can’t pass the road map to others.
So, if you are thinking about becoming a writer, then write what you know, write your passionate about and most important, specialize in that area so you know the subject from the inside out.
Many of us never feel good enough, or that we’ve tried hard enough, so words such as Mother Teresa’s, Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough, couldn’t ring more true, but when she says, “Give the world your best,” her advice stings. For some of us, the thought circles back to our not being good enough.
When do we throw in the towel and give up? Never. We have to rise from every fall and power on because that’s what survival is all about—though doing just that may be hard.
“As we look back and survey the terrain to determine where we’ve been and where we are in relationship to where we’re going, we clearly see that we could not have gotten where we are without coming to the way we came,” says Steven Covey in his The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change.
We are who we are today because of all of our yesterday’s, including every scrape and fall. Without our experiences, we’d not know who we are, or know others. How can we give the world the best we have, even if it’s not enough, but give the world our best, anyway, when we don’t feel up to the task? Well, first, we have to start from our core self. And if we don’t like that self, then that’s where we begin.
To build the ‘you’ of today takes experiences, good and bad. And true, if you give the world the best you have, it may never be enough, but…as Mother Teresa, an Albanian Roman Catholic nun who spent much of her life in India and gained Indian citizenship, says, Give the world your best, anyway. And who would know this better than Mother Teresa, who devoted her life to serving the poorest of the poor around the world?
Mother Teresa was the founder of the Order of the Missionaries of Charity, a congregation of women dedicated to helping the destitute. She was one of the 20th century’s greatest humanitarians. They canonized her as Saint Teresa of Calcutta in 2016. Her mission was to look after people who nobody else was prepared to look after. In 1952, she opened her first home for the dying, which allowed people to die with dignity (Biography Online).
It’s not how much we do, but how much love we put in the doing. It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put in the giving. ~Mother Teresa, from No Greater Love
How much love can we put in the giving if we don’t like ourselves? How do we carve out a liking of self? It seems we have to connect to self, which for me started by aligning with nature to become still and find self. Often, we’re so caught up with our aging and how we look we can’t see past that to help others—with love and selflessness.
Mother Teresa was wise; she connected to much more than looks or seeking kudos from society for good works. No, everything she did was from a selfless love for others. Most of us could never give as she did, but we can learn to connect to the simplicity of life as we search for the wellbeing of body, mind, spirit, and self.
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Thank you for spending time with me and my thoughts throughout these pages. I hope my words lit your excitement to become your best self for you. I look forward to sharing my newest book with you on how to Release Your obsession with Your PHONE. God bless you and your journey through this life and all that awaits beyond.
Thank you for being a part of the reading blog forum of this blog. If you have something you’d like to say, I’d love to hear it. YOU are important and your words need to be heard. I’m here for you.
Stay tuned. You never know where my mind will wander…