Diets are blasting messages more than usual this time of year making for such confusion on what to do to get back into shape. So many promises are made, such as, if you do this or you do you’ll drop ten pounds in two weeks or fifty pounds thirty days only to find none of the suggestions are working for you.
Why?
Perhaps it’s because diets don’t work. What does work is changing your relationship with food, exercise and overall healthy lifestyle.
Out Of Breath
Mary, a fairly new patient, bolted through the waiting room sprinting to my office like she was running a 10 K marathon. Breathless, she plopped down sinking deep into the nutmeg brown couch, perspiration trickling down her face, announcing, “I’m starting a 500 calorie diet to get rid of this weight once and for all!,” as she grabbed a fist full of fat from her expanded waist. As I listened to Mary promise with such conviction on how she would lose her weight—that she owned the “secret” to drop weight quickly, I felt Mary’s pain and urgency. Not only do I understand Mary, I lived her desperation—starting and ending every fad diet imaginable for over 30 years of my life.
I promised to lose the weight—that I had the quick weight loss secret. One hundred pounds heavier after a series of diets brought me to my knees begging for a transformation.
I couldn’t help responding abruptly to Mary, “Stop, don’t do it! Do not make another New Year’s resolution to such drastic diet measures, as it leads to yo yo dieting.”
When I explain to patients what’s really going on with desperate dieting, followed by binge eating, I often see a twinkle in their eye as they nod, bobbing their head like a dolphin dancing on the ocean top delighted real direction is coming.
Mary is a food addict.
As she begins to “get it” she has an Oprah “light bulb moment!” realizing that her up and down weight loss is not her fault, but rather from years of dieting and addictive eating.
Today, especially the first weeks of January, promises of food restriction, clamping teeth shut, determined to eat 500 calories a day, is a recipe for disaster.
Let’s be clear: There’s no such diet or trick or secret as losing 20, 40, 60 or whatever number of pounds you want to lose in a few short weeks and or months. Mary’s 500 calorie diet sets her up for quick weight loss followed by quick weight gain. I know, been there done that a million times.
Where to begin?
Let’s start with four points:
Admit you are out of control with food. This first step is not easy but it’s a start-point to release the obsession with food.
Understand sugar, flour, and wheat are drugs to many binge eaters. Mary reminds me of the addict who promises they’ll never take another hit, snort, or shoot up again, without admission to the addictive components. Coming from a “will power” frame of mind is sure to fail.
Develop a spiritual connection to something greater than yourself. Call it God, Yahweh, or Lucy, whatever—just connect to your Divine Source. Mary is two hundred pounds overweight. She is a prisoner in her own body. Addictions are stronger and bigger than our will to stop using, we can’t do it alone.
Take one day at a time and practice recovery. Mary must let go of the “quick” fix ideation. When humble and focused she can work a whole, natural food plan free of sugar, flour, and wheat. In the here and now, working her program, one meal at a time, with progress not perfection, I think she’ll make it to the other side: thin and healthy.
The Empty Self-Promise
When I was in the food I promised I would stop. I too vowed to lose the weight and never binge again.
I meant it!
Once I dropped some weight and started looking good I fell deep into a binge. It wasn’t until I realized I had to let go of the addictive foods I became free of the obsessions and cravings.
It’s not a question of will power but rather of letting go of an addiction to specific foods. As simple as it sounds it worked. My weight corrected and I am free of cravings.
Many patients I work with also are free from cravings and have returned to their normal weight. I wish I could say they all followed my path, but truth be told, many are on the same ride as Mary, believing there’s a quick fix often losing only to gain more weight than what they started with.
Successful patients have a clear understanding it’s a process and that it takes time if they want to enter long-term success. Eat balanced meals one day at a time is the ticket to recovery. Although I did not hear specific talk about spiritual recovery, Mary is beginning to echo thoughts regarding some Higher Force to carry her through the process. She grasps it’s not about the food, nor is it about the weight, it’s an addiction to food. It is about turning to a physical, emotional, and spiritual recovery.
What are your thoughts? Do you struggle with your food? Do you think certain foods can lead to binge eating? I’d love to hear from you–your thoughts are important.
If you don’t think food addiction is real I’d love to hear from you too…
Stay tuned…you never know where my mind will wander…
You can leave a comment by scrolling down to the section that says leave a reply. I look forward to hearing from you!
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*Weightcontroltherapy.com, founded in 2001, offers the public an opportunity to explore why you eat what you eat and to better understand why food can cause your moods to swing, your cravings to soar, your weight to increase, your self-esteem to plummet, and your fatigue to rage. I blog posts to share experiences, light the flame of hope for all to conquer their poor relationship physically, emotionally, and spiritually to food.
Speaker, writer, licensed clinical psychotherapist, PhD in addiction psychology, eating disorder professional, hypnotherapist changing the view about compulsive eating one addict at a time.
Hugs to you, I care!
