When one realizes one is asleep, at that moment one is already half-awake.
~P.D.Ouspensky
Today, I was walking along the shoreline of the Atlantic Ocean in sunny South Florida. I felt an enormous gratitude! Here I am in the most beautiful setting, while others are freezing somewhere out there.
I was recently in Chicago when it was 26 degrees below zero! My face almost fell off! And now…here I am walking along the beach with the temperature nearing 80 degrees. How great is that!
Today I witnessed many cloaked in little tiny bathing suits knowing somewhere out there (Chicago!) there are many bundled up in their multi-layered clothing.
Are You SAD?
As I was walking, I was wondering how I could keep my exercise intact if I lived up north. Here in Florida, my goal is to exercise 6 out of 7 days a week. While in Chicago, I could not meet my goal. As I along the shoreline, with seagulls keeping me company, I wonder how others are living in a cold climate. As I pondered this thought’m walking, I went back to when I lived in Chicago.
Around this exact time of the year (mid-January), after the holiday festivities came to a halt, and my body was up a good 30 pounds from eating from Halloween until my New Year resolution, I would fall into a deep depression until April when the sun resurfaced and the pale gray slated skies disappeared. Some would call it Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD). Perhaps they were correct.
I don’t have those “dark” days here in sunny Florida like I did when I lived up north.
It was one winter back in January 1986, standing on the platform waiting for the El train, when I decided no longer would I give in to another winter of cold.
It was a cold and blistery day.
I decided out loud that I had enough… I was moving to Hollywood (Florida, that is!). And in May 1986, off to Florida, I went and never looked back.
Chicago Blizzard…
The Weight Yo Yo
Often in my history, my weight would fluctuate 100 pounds up and down. My last year living in Chicago was one of those times where I could control my weight. Although my eating disorder was flourishing even then, I could hide it (weight wise) because I was doing so much walking living in the city. Although I did not exercise regularly because of the cold, I was walking to catch a bus or a train every day several times. In addition, I was taking the stairs (at De Paul University) rather than the elevators. I was trying to eat clean mostly and then would succumb to a binge on the weekends. Back then, I did not know about food addiction. I thought I was weak-willed, and that I did not know how to “do it right.” Now, of course, I know differently.
Today, I know I am a food addict and there is no cure for food addiction, only recovery. I work on my recovery every single day, whether I am here or in Chicago, or at my little beach home on the west coast. Eating sugar, flour, and wheat is not an option. Not exercising for long periods of time is not an option. Today, as I walked along the shoreline of the Atlantic Ocean, I smiled on the inside and the outside all at the same time. I suppose onlookers might have thought I was a bit “touched,” but I did not give it a care. I am free of food addictive behavior. My weight is “normal,” and I feel spiritually balanced. All worth my efforts of vigilantly working on my program.
Some say they could not eat the way I do, or exercise regularly; but, I say it beats being in Chicago, freezing my you know what off and wearing an extra 100 pounds. Today, life is centered and balanced for me. How about you? Is your life centered and balanced? How do you work on your exercise program in the winter? Are you still pumped from your New Year’s resolution? I want to hear from you!
Do you notice you get depressed at certain times of the year? Do you feel upbeat when it’s bright out? When was the last time you noticed a shift in your mood? We’d love to hear your experience, as one who suffered from SAD personally.
Thank you for spending time with me and my thoughts throughout these pages. I hope my words lit your excitement to become your best self for you. I look forward to sharing my next book with you on how to release your obsession with your phone. God bless you… and your journey through this life and all that awaits beyond…
Thank you for being a part of the reading blog forum of this blog. If you have something you’d like to say, I’d love to hear it. YOU are important and your words need to be heard. I’m here for you.
To learn more about recovery from food addiction, eating disorders, weight issues, dieting, money, and aging please check out my Release Your Obsession Series.
Stay tuned…you never know where my mind will wander…
Hugs to you, I care!
And now my newest release:
Release Your Obsession with MONEY: Heal from the Inside Out
I learned firsthand and now I’m passing it along to you…
My addiction to food is unfortunatley very strong in my life today. Whatever reason I have for continuing this disrupting way of life, it spills into many areas of my life. I have moments of freedom from addiction, only to be short lived, when I take back the reins and try to do it my way. I guess that is where my life is right now, so I must find a loving and kind manner in regard to myself. To me, it would not matter what the weather was like, although I do love those snowy pictures, there is always exercise indoors, it matters where my mind is. I pray that one day, I have freedom from my addictions. The foods that cause compulsive eating are not easy to put down. But when I do, I feel so free of pain, mental and physical. I am learning to love and take care of myself so maybe one day, when God feels I am ready, I will find peace and bliss by eating to live, not living to eat.
It sounds so wonderful to be free of eating addiction but getting over the diet/gaining has been going on forever, how long did it take you after the lent sacrifice then eating again, when you felt sick to realize I do not want to feel like this again, eating to live and not living to eat is worth it to me. Elena
You make a wonderful point Lisa! I would like to think it does not matter what the weather is, in terms of exercise; but, rather what the frame of mind is. But, I must admit (head hanging low) I did not exercise when Florida hit low 30’s and 40’s. I choose to exercise outside with nature and just could not deal with the cold. I think I was in a good frame of mind with regards to my physical, emotional, and spiritual self. I just don’t like the cold…I am a wimp!
Elena, thinking back to the day when I gave up sugar, flour, and wheat for Lent, I recall feeling so great for the lent season. Everything seemed brighter and joyful. My mind was cleared of all clutter and negative self-talk. On Easter morning when I dove into the candies I immediately felt the shift. It was really bad. I believe having the experience of cleaning out trigger foods from my system and then putting them back in allowed me to know the difference. Even with this valuable information, I still wanted to do things “MY ” way and desperately held on to whole grain flour and wheat, cutting back on sugar (4th ingredient on labels)…but, after a few weeks I would fall back into the binge. It was when my weight slowly began to climb and I felt just awful physically, emotionally, and spiritually, I made the commitment to let go of sugar, flour, and wheat. Today, I feel terrific just like I did back during the Lent season so many years ago.